Poor. Choices.

Personal finance is often thought of in terms of how much money you personally earn, save, and spend. All worthwhile topics to learn more about.

But far more important to your actual level of wealth is how much risk you take in life, who you know, and your desire (or lack thereof) to learn and grow.

I wish I had seen these connections earlier in life.

Some Examples

Have unprotected sex in college and you may end up with a $300,000 bundle of joy way earlier than you intended.

Burn bridges, act entitled, or just be an all-around ass hat at work, and no one will recommend you for a new job, cutting off one of your main methods of increasing how much you earn.

Quit learning and advancing your personal skill set and you’ll also put a cap on your future earning potential.

Friendships allow you to practice communication, diplomacy, and reciprocity – crucial skills in any line of lucrative work. Let your friendships wither and you’ll cut off a main source of practice of these skills. We are social creatures after all.

Don’t try new things, study new topics, or leave your comfort zone, and your mind will atrophy, along with your likelihood of changing roles, getting a promotion, or receiving a raise.

Ignore your partner’s request to go to couple’s therapy, dig your heels in convinced it’s them and not you, and you can learn just how expensive a divorce attorney is. Let alone losing that 3% mortgage when you have to sell the house. If you’re lucky, you may even get to pay for another wedding in a few years…

None of these things have anything to do with money directly, and they rely on many people who aren’t you but they definitely determine how much wealth you’ll accumulate over a lifetime.

So, what should you do?

Here’s My Best Not-So-Personal, Not-So-Financial Personal Finance Advice

Show up to work on time and challenge yourself every day. This is more important than ever if you work remote, where no one is watching you.

Treat your coworkers with kindness, curiosity, and respect. Everyone knows something you don’t, and most people are trying their best. Being a toxic gossiper or know-it-all at work is a great way to guarantee no one calls you when the perfect new role opens up at their next company. Unless you are literally the top expert in whatever field you work. (Assume you are not.)

Practice self-awareness. Bernie Madoff, who perpetrated one of the largest Ponzi schemes in history was asked what he learned after he got caught and he famously responded, “I realized I didn’t learn anything from this. I already knew that I wasn’t supposed to do this.“

Whatever risk you think you can handle, cut it in half. Want to put $10,000 into a single stock? Make it $5,000. Losses hurt twice as bad as gains feel good. Think it’s okay to drive after 2 beers? Drink some water and wait an hour. A $5,000 fine and the risk of hurting someone else isn’t worth taking the chance.

Similarly, whatever safety net of cash you think you need, double it. Antifragility is the key to being the last one standing during a recession or round of layoffs. A large safety net of cash provides psychological well-being and will ensure you don’t plan your next move from a place of anxiety about your bills.

Take a lesson from every job you leave. Compounded over 30 or 40 years, the communication skills you learn working at a pizzeria or the attention to detail you hone stocking shelves in a warehouse could be worth literally millions of dollars.

Constantly be on the lookout for new ways of thinking and working. Emulate the things you see get attention and praise as long as you also find them effective. One way I identify these things are when I find myself thinking, “Wow, I wish I could do that.” whether it’s putting together a clear logic model of a complex topic or telling a great story during a presentation.

Diversify your skills, hobbies, and friend groups. Not only will this give you a range of perspectives and insights to draw on, it will make you more interesting and provide you with greater life satisfaction.

Eat healthy, exercise, and watch out for addictions. Doing the bare minimum here is perfectly fine and you already know what to do. You know you need to eat more vegetables and less pizza. You know getting out into nature or into a gym on a regular basis is important for a variety of mental and physical reasons. You know which of your vices make you a little uncomfortable or ashamed when you think about them.

Do uncomfortable things… sometimes. The fastest way to grow is to reach just beyond your limits for a short amount of time, pause, reflect, repeat. This applies to all sorts of things such as interacting with strangers, taking on new assignments at work, or even meditating. You’d be surprised at how uncomfortable it can be to do nothing but pay attention to your attention.

Learn to deal with it. Constantly trying to change the circumstances of your situation is the quickest path to unhappiness and debt. There is a balance between letting everything around you go to shit and constantly fretting over the smallest detail. You’ll probably never find it, at least not for long, but the act of looking for it is the point.

For example, how many people do you know who remodel their entire house only to turn around and move the next year? Or they get a promotion only to leave for greener pastures 6 months later? Or they cheat on their partner instead of confronting the real issues in their relationship?

I think this could be the absolute best personal finance advice and is probably the hardest to follow. We are born with an innate drive to change and “improve” things. But sometimes, things are just fine as they are and our orientation to them is the problem.

I probably fail at following half the things on this list in any given moment but I keep coming back to them.