Poor. Choices.

I had a really tough time at work last week.

To put it simply — I fucked up.

I prioritized accuracy over speed on a project update and that delay was all it took to completely undermine months and months of effort.

I let bad news from my own program get to my bosses boss through someone else. Not just someone else, someone from a completely different part of the company. I won’t go into much detail but suffice to say it was a big mistake. One I will never repeat again.

I’ve been working around the clock to fix it. A lot of other people have been, too, which makes it feel even worse. Back-to-back-to-back meetings, long hours, and high emotions.

I think the blow-up would have happened either way; it was just extra bad news since I wasn’t the one to communicate it first.

Tonight is the first moment I’ve had to catch my breath and document it so that hopefully my 16 subscribers legions of adoring fans can learn from my mistake.

So how did I get through it without quitting, breaking my keyboard, or curling into the fetal position? Well, I wish I could say I was perfectly composed and stoic but I came pretty darn close to all of those things more than once.

Rather it was thanks to some help from a few people in my corner. And it made me realize the value of people I can truly trust in this world.

In roughly this order, I went to my wife, my career coach, one of my best friends and former colleagues, my cat, my direct manager, and my therapist for support. And boy did they come through.

But I want to briefly focus on the second person on that list – my career coach.

Career coach you say?

Yes. But the term “career coach” still sounds silly and unnecessary to me. It conjures images of boring business cards, white table cloths on circular tables at conferences, and over-sized pleated pants*. I don’t know why. Apparently I grew up in the 90s and have an aversion to networking events.

*Exhibit A:

Backup to last year. I stumbled across a blog I liked by a guy named Barney Whiter. It had a lot of content about money. It was funny, novel, and accurate (according to my spidey senses). Not only that but it crossed into health and work topics as well. Sound familiar? See here, here, and here.

Towards the end of each post, he also noted that he offered financial, health, and career coaching. Skeptical, but having just accepted a job at one of the biggest companies in the world, I wanted all the help I could get. His resume included a Managing Director title at one of the well known consulting firms in corporate finance so I figured he might know something about stress.

Fast forward, I’ve been working with Barney since October 2024. Week after week, he’s the one person outside my company — with no hidden agenda and no issues telling me the hard truth — who helps me see the bigger picture of work and life.

Here are some of the notes I jotted down from my call with Barney about this experience:

“Always control the information flow. Knowledge is power. Anything bad, embarrassing, or risky — get ahead of it with your top sponsor. Stage your communications so people feel there is structure and order.

But don’t let a good crisis go to waste either. Once the dust settles, polish up another formal ask for more resources. Automate your program so this can’t happen again.”

Yes, it’s hard but what did you expect? They were paying you to NOT solve problems?? This is the Premier League dude.”

(Barney is British so I don’t always understand his references but I’m told the Premier League is related to football – or soccer as we Americans call it.)

Every call is filled with relevant insights about my current situation, usually using an example from war, politics, sports, or movies. He’s good at seeing patterns.

I pay for this coaching out of pocket. And you know what? It’s worth every penny — because the money I spend is far outweighed by the money I continue to earn in a high-stress but high-growth job where I can be more successful and more sane thanks to this outside perspective.

You know the old saying, “iT tAkEs MoNeY tO mAkE mOnEy“? Yeah. It’s true.

It helps we can also talk finances and health interspersed with me complaining about work.

If you’ve ever thought, “Do I really need a coach for work?” — consider how much of your career success depends not just on hard work and talent, but on navigating complex political dynamics, personal relationships, and your own blind spots. Then consider how much of your life success depends on you being successful at work. Having someone you trust in your corner makes all the difference.

If you’re curious, here’s a link to Barney’s blog: The Escape Artist

(I don’t get anything out of recommending him.)

And one Pro Tip: if you still want a career coach but Barney doesn’t fit the bill for you – that’s cool – just look for someone who offers a free consultation call. Before I paid Barney a dime, I got on a call with him for an hour to see if we were a good fit. I asked him like 4 or 5 prepared questions. His answers gave me the confidence I could learn something from him and I’ve never looked back.

Happy. Working.

Poor. Choices.

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